Sunday, May 13, 2007

Okay, I'm a coward

Yes, certain topics make me tear up for no readily apparent reason. Yes, I've had difficulty communicating with people about various things -- such as what I want or what's bothering me -- for as long as I can remember (even since preschool).

...Despite all that, I think I'm going to attempt to swallow my fear and tell The Boy how I feel next weekend. It'll be really hard....my biggest fear is that it'll come out wrong, or that it won't be received as well as hoped. That's pretty much what's been keeping me from saying things outloud -- knowing that, while things won't go forward as well if I keep my mouth shut....opening it could make things a lot more difficult.

Still. I'm going to try...because there's always the possibility that things might even get better. Besides, I have a week to get my head ready to do so....so that should make it a bit easier, right?

Christ, I'm already nervous...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It takes trust to share your feelings. Trust is a BIG part of Love. You Trust them and you respect them and are Trustworthy. That HAS to be a two way street babe. The hardest time I have communicating with my Honey is by expecting MY words to come out of his mouth when we are talking about feelings. Guys just don't communicate the way women do. I'm 50, I've been married and widowed and in love more than once. It's always better to be honest and not just with him, but with yourself as well. You guys have a really good thing, and I think your discussion is going to go a lot better than you think. I'm sure the Boy will reciprocate. What a great time in your life, young and in Love with a great guy! Share your thoughts, share your fears, share your tears, share your love! Hugs- Linda

The Kitola said...

The funny thing is that he's better at communication than I am. He loves talking things out, where as my head always feels like a jumble so I hardly ever know what it is I'm thinking....I think that's part of why I tear up when trying to do this type of thing, too, is just in frustration at myself.